“I am the only unmarried one amongst my close circle of friends.” : The Blind Spot

Katlego Sekhu

Anonymous and her group of friends are pretty tight. They have been friends since University and have carried their friendship well into adulthood. Anonymous is the only unmarried one in the group, and she is starting to feel like a third wheel. What’s worse is that someone insinuated that she could be after her friends’ husbands. She is considering leaving the group and wants to know if this is the right decision.

“I am the only single and unmarried one amongst my close circle of friends, and it is starting to make me feel some type of way. My girls and I have been friends since Varsity and since we started working, we go on vacation at least twice a year.

“However, in the past couple of years, they have all started to bring their partners. In the beginning, it didn’t bother me until recently. Now that I’ve realized it, my friends have never made me feel otherwise. We all have a good time, and life goes on. However, one of my sister’s friends told my friends that they should stop bringing me along because ‘I’m going to attempt their husbands.’

“Although my friends just laughed, this hasn’t sat well with me. I can’t help but feel that maybe I should just limit my time with the girls to ladies’ nights only. I don’t want to lose my friends, but to be honest, I also don’t like the fact that I’m the only single one. What can I do?”

Anonymous

A male listener who’s been in a similar situation advises Anonymous to limit her time with the group. “My sister, just stick to the ladies’ night. I have been in the same situation; the wives of my friends would make me feel so alone. Anything that has to do with couples when you are single, just do away with it. It is not going to end up in a nice way,” he said.

One listener notes that Anonymous needs to address this with her friends. “If they ever want to be with partners, they must do it at a different time. Seeing that she loves her friends, she must address it because they are starting to make her feel uncomfortable,” she said.

A listener, Nthabi, believes the friend’s sister is projecting her personal experience. “I think it’s completely unfair. The sister’s friend has no right to even be planting such seeds. Anonymous must continue to go out with their friends, whether they bring their husbands or not. She is a girl’s girl and knows how to contain herself,” expressed Nthabi.

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