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The difference between setting boundaries and losing interest in relationships

By: Natasha Archary

boundaries vs disinterest
Image: Adobe Stock

While 2 people are dating and getting to know each other, it might not be easy to tell the difference between a person trying to set boundaries, versus them being disinterested in you.

Why do these two things sometimes seem so similar? Are we misinterpreting someone’s healthy boundaries as them not showing an interest in us?

Does our insecurities or impatience cause us to walk away from potential partners too quickly?

Setting boundaries is a fundamental aspect of healthy relationships. Boundaries are the personal limits we establish to protect our well-being, emotional health, and personal space. These limits help us define which behaviours are acceptable and which are not.

Disinterest, on the other hand, refers to a lack of engagement or enthusiasm in the relationship. When someone is disinterested, they may withdraw emotionally, reduce communication, or avoid spending time with the other person. Disinterest often signals that the individual no longer feels invested in the relationship or wants to prioritize other aspects of their life over the connection.

Key Differences

  1. Motivation:
    • Boundaries: Motivated by a desire for self-care and to maintain a healthy relationship.
    • Disinterest: Driven by a lack of engagement or a diminished connection to the other person.
  2. Communication:
    • Boundaries: Clearly communicated and often discussed openly with the other person.
    • Disinterest: Often unspoken, characterized by avoidance and withdrawal.
  3. Impact on the Relationship:
    • Boundaries: Strengthens the relationship by ensuring both parties feel respected and understood.
    • Disinterest: Weakens the relationship by creating distance and reducing emotional intimacy.
  4. Intent:
    • Boundaries: The intent is to protect personal well-being while maintaining the relationship.
    • Disinterest: Intent is often to disengage, either consciously or subconsciously.

Navigating the Differences

Understanding the difference between setting boundaries and showing disinterest is vital for maintaining healthy relationships. If you need to set boundaries, it’s important to communicate them clearly and kindly, explaining why they are necessary and how they will help the relationship thrive.

On the other hand, if you notice signs of disinterest, it may be worth addressing the issue directly by asking your partner or friend if there’s something on their mind or if the relationship needs reevaluation.

Healthy relationships require ongoing communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to understand each other’s needs. By recognizing the difference between setting boundaries and disinterest, you can navigate your relationships more effectively, ensuring you and those around you feel valued and connected.

Listen to the conversation on Drive 959:

Also read: “I can’t stop cheating on my husband” – The Blind Spot

Written by: Natasha



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